 Portfolio of
Robyn Eastman
View Artist Statement
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Gallery Direct Interview with ROBYN EASTMAN
Robyn is a volcano of expression, utilizing vibrant colors to express the gentle whisperings from the heart of her world to help others to touch the heart of theirs. Robyn has worked in a variety of mediums over the years and as a ‘sixties’ child, she has ever been the rebel, finding that she could not separate her painting from her writing or other visual work, such as video/film.
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When did you realize that visual art was part of your being and that you wanted to pursue it, and writing, as your career?
I grew up through the sixties and though it was a time of huge change and ‘free love’, I felt isolated and alone with no one to talk to about what was ‘real’ in my life. I know we are all raised in some sort of dysfunction and for me it was pretty severe with alcoholic parents in bucolic suburbia. Abuse reigned in our house leaving me with such a low sense of self-esteem any form of rejection or criticism was devastating. Yet, I had this bundle of “Truth” that boiled inside and the only way I seemed to be able to keep it from ‘boiling over’ was to draw it or write it. But even this I hid well because even in school, my 8th grade art teacher told me I couldn’t ‘do’ art and had no talent.
So, I would take the train downtown on Saturday afternoons and sit in the Art Institute in front of the Dalis and Picassos and Miros and I read Sartre, Kirkegaard, Nietsche, Kerouac and Ginsberg with a little j.d. salinger thrown in on the side. Life Magazine had me completely hooked because I saw a bigger world through photographs like that of Ansel Adams and Margaret Bourke-White. All these artists were ‘speaking’ their world through their art and it was magical to me.
Whether those influences created my lust for expression or they merely mentored me, I’ve had to live with this inner yearning to search for truth wherever it is and wherever it’s taken me. So, I scrambled in the world trying to do things that were not ‘my thing’ to do. Yet, it was funny because writing projects came to me. And then when I was working with my Hawaiian ‘Tutu’, we sold Hawaiian artifacts at events up and down the California coast and I did a small painting for something. Well, Tutu went off and pushed me until I jumped back into the creative world with both feet, painting up a storm, using my camera like a wild woman and writing like crazy. When I had to move back to the Chicago area, I went back to school for my art and finally feel ‘right’ with the world because I’m doing what I was meant to do. It’s all a thing of listening to one’s heart...a very difficult thing to do sometimes but if your heart doesn’t sing with what you do, your life will never be on track.
Was there someone who encouraged you along this path or who you looked upon as your mentor?
Yes, yes and yes. None of us can go forward without some sort of support and because my parents were so sick they couldn’t take care of themselves, I learned from an early age to find “mentors from afar”. My grandmothers and my godmothers constantly encouraged me. In grade school, I would write my grandmothers long involved letters about everything that was going on. I’m sure I was keeping them filled in on all the ‘inner’ knowledge a mother wants of their children’s lives...though I never, ever talked about the abuse. The letters always brought tons of praise and “send more”, but around junior high age, it was my godmother (who is more my mother than my mother ever was), who said, “Your grammar is terrible but you are a damn good writer.”
It wasn’t until the last 15 years or so that I really dug back into my visual arts. My Hawaiian “Tutu” saw a piece I did for one of my Hawaiian ‘sisters’. Her husband was on duty in Iraq and she didn’t have money and wanted to send him something special for his birthday. She gave me a picture of the place they spent their honeymoon and wanted me to create a painting. I did and when Tutu saw it, she wouldn’t let me stop and I was unleashed again. Then when almost all of them sold at various events, I was even more encouraged. Remember, as much as we want to “speak our truth” in our work, our audience is a huge mentor to us, too. Though we have to be careful not to get caught up in the ‘literati’ of art, we do need to ‘see’ that our art means something. Here’s a story:
We were at a cultural art show at the Long Beach Convention Center. I had just finished a huge canvas of a puakenikeni (one of the most magnificent of Hawaiian flowers). I wasn’t satisfied with it and was almost embarrassed to have it displayed. All day a young man kept coming back to look at it and through several conversations I explained to him how the puakenikeni starts as this velvet, off-white flower with a fragrance that is intoxicating. Over the next week, it turns to a salmon russet and eventually it dries into a tea colored hard version of itself, but still has an intoxicating smell. There were five flowers representing the various cycles of life we go through. By the end of the day, he bought the painting but the gift for me was the look of love in his eyes because it so spoke to him. He wrote me later that it was front and center stage in his living room and he loved telling everyone the story which made it even more alive.
Believe me, I’ve heard plenty of other comments...a counselor at the Art Institute called my work naïve and others call it primitive. At a ‘literati’ critique a woman actually told me that ‘real’ artists don’t paint flowers. Whatever...I’ve only had one painting class in my life and that was only a year or so ago, after I’d painted a large portion of my work at that point. Since then I’ve been in school full time adding video and writing skills because I’d never had classes in any of that either. But for the most part, I’ve had more than a few professors that I would consider mentors and have helped me in my perception of the ‘naysayers’.
And you know what else I do...especially when I’m depressed and think I’m not an artist and who am I to even try...then I scour the internet for people that I admire...their work, what they say...and read about them and see what they had to go through to do their work. Granted, there are many of them who grew up with plenty of money behind them and got to go to the best schools, but there are also many who never got schooling, nor did they have a patron who would bankroll their every project!
Being an artist is a lonely business sometimes and making sure I always have mentors around me is what keeps me going everyday.
Have your life experiences influenced your work in any way?
To me, I don’t think you can separate your life experiences from what you do. I don’t care if you’re a corporate executive, a farmer or an artist, where you grew up, your family, your neighborhood, your schools, the food you eat, the games you play ALL have an influence on your work. It’s what you know. The combination of it all is who you are and how you deal with the world and how you can express that world through your art! We’ve all heard the old adage...write what you know, paint what you know etc. I believe that is the life of an artist, to let all of our experiences flow through us and come out on the other side with some sort of meaning for ourselves and ultimately for someone else.
For instance, my biggest flaw personally, is my biggest flaw in my work...a lack of self-confidence. I feel like I don’t “let go” as much as I could, which in turn means that I don’t reveal as much as I’d like to in my work. When I don’t reach to be more as a person, I don’t reach to be more as an artist. In fact, the more I incorporate my life and being into my work the more I like it because my personal “truth” is embedded in it.
It’s been said that you are somewhat of a rebel and that you ignore the ‘real art’ world. Could you tell us a bit about yourself and how this perception of you has evolved?
I took my first and only painting course at Columbia a few years ago. My work for the past 15 years has been a very close up view of mostly flowers. For some reason, there was something in flowers that allowed me to dig deep and from the time I was a small kid I was enamored with the concept that perhaps on the tip of my thumb there was a world within a world within a world. A producer friend of mine once said, “Your insight into the human condition and what I see of you in even the flowers reminds me of O’Keefe (sic). There is such a terrific difference between your flowers for example and virtually all other flowers that I have seen painted with the exception of O’Keefe (sic). With her and with you, the observer is looking at flowers but seeing the inner essence of the artist.”
And yet, when my painting professor encouraged me to do a ‘critique’ at Columbia, I experienced the epitome of an art world that implodes on itself and goes against the very essence of what art is. I brought a large canvas I’d done in class. It was done from a series of photographs I’d taken of a magnolia from when I lived in California. I took a magnolia bud off the tree in front of my house, put it in water and photographed it all day as it opened. It was an amazing event kind of project. When we had to choose our final project for class, I wanted to see the magic of that session in oils. Along with that, I brought a little book I’d published with all my previous paintings and stories about Hawaii that went along with them. In addition, I brought a video I’d done in another class that was a documentary ‘short’ on being an artist.
The room was small and I set up my ‘wares’, but only one woman was there. We chatted a bit, then another man arrived and twenty minutes later another woman arrived. This final woman was closing her umbrella, shaking the water out of her hair and railing to the first woman about how ghastly the weather was and basically what a drag it was for her to come in, just for this. I’m not a kid...I’m an adult and the woman kept her back to me as though I weren’t in the room. Then as we started the session, she vomited a litany of things that were ‘wrong’ with my painting, among them poor composition and how could I possibly ever paint from a picture and expect to do anything worthwhile. It was horrific and yet it is what so many people in the world of fine art, literature, education, and all the other arts...do. Tear apart something because it doesn’t measure up in your measuring system. Sometimes it’s a case of tear down because they can’t do it. Sometimes it’s a case of tear down because its better than mine. And sometimes its just idiots who don’t know how to talk to another human being and be kind, even if it were the most atrocious looking thing you’ve ever set your eyes on. It gets to be about power instead of perception.
That experience was like various other ones that happened over the years. People always say artists have to have thick skin because there’s so much rejection. That is so ridiculous because artists are deep thinkers, innovators, deep feeling people who open their hearts and souls in whatever medium they work in. The fact is, in most cases, there is a place for everyone. For as many different eyes that see one’s art, there are that number of opinions about how it could be better or why it is the most fabulous thing on the planet that has to be on their wall.
For one group of ‘critics’ to think they rule the world is ridiculous, but just like so many other businesses, to make money at your work, you’ve got to make it through the cadre of naysayers and media who are the ones who craft our world’s culture and tastes...for better or for worse!
I understand you have recently been working toward your MFA? With all the education and projects you have been involved in, which would you say has helped you most in developing your career in the arts?
Because I’ve taken such a circuitous route on my journey, the one thing that (of course in hind sight is clearer), is that each job, project etc. the skills I learned, the people I met...all became part of the network I have today of fabulous artists in fine art, music, writing etc. I couldn’t separate out which was most influential because even the smallest moments...a word...a three day relationship at a seminar or over the internet...a book...a place...an event...are all momentous if it moves me forward and keeps me doing my art. And that is the single most important thing, is that I get up each morning and write or paint or edit or film or draw. Though I’ve only had a modicum of monetary success so far, it’s all about continuing creation and staying in one’s “Truth”.
My jump back into school the last few years was a huge investment in myself and my art. Probably more than anything, it was part of convincing myself not to give up and go flip burgers at McDonald’s. The education has not only increased my skills (I believe that we must always continue to learn), but it’s helped me stave off the low self esteem monster that so often ensnares us as artists.
During the past 15 years, you have worn many hats, tutor, videographer, director, writer, and artist. What project did you find to be the most rewarding and challenging during this time period.
As a project person, you love each project as your baby until you go on to the next.
The film I helped produce, Angels with Angles (aka Everything’s George) was a huge lesson in networking, doing what you thought couldn’t be done and dealing with people under extremely stressful circumstances.
The internet company a friend and I put together was intense as it was way ahead of its time and I had to wear just about every hat you wear in a corporation...creatively. I had to write business plans, marketing plans, financials etc, which was so out of the realm that juices me...creating the art itself. But those skills have been perfect to take into my own career and the foray out of my comfort zone was well worth it (in hind sight:>).
I have to say though, that being in the classroom teaching writing to urban children was one of the most rewarding. To see the ‘aha’ in a child’s eyes as they discover their voice is more magic that anything else I’ve ever experienced.
Up to this point in your career, what would you say has been your greatest success and biggest setback?
My greatest success is that I’m still doing my art in all its incarnations. To me, each project I do is orgasmic at the end and what beats that?! But because my work evolves constantly, and I’m a total, obsessive, perfectionist I probably will never see anything as a ‘greatest success’ because I always have another idea on the burner which is the ‘latest and greatest’. (Talk to me when I’m about 120 and then maybe I can think of one:>)
And my biggest wrestling match that sets me back all the time is my own lack of self confidence. Me fighting me:> (Although, when that internet company went under, it was a real grieving kind of loss that sent me into a depresssion for quite a while. But of course, on the other side, it was really what put me back on my path of doing what I do...my creative work, instead of doing whatever to pay the bills.)
And of course, another challenge is money. I always have to remember our dear Van Gogh who made nary anything in his lifetime but followed his heart to do his work. It would be nice to have my work pay the bills and am grateful that huge houses and extravagant living are not my thing. It would be nice to have the financial worries taken away but maybe that just adds to the intensity of the work:>
You work in a number of different art forms. Could you tell us which art form you find most exciting.
I absolutely LOVE ALL of my forms. Writing takes the most time. I write everyday and do scads of re-writes all the time. But when you get to that moment in the edit where it makes you cry or laugh or feel angry or passionate, that is the orgasmic moment. It happens with film/video when the story comes together in the editing room and again when you get to the point in a painting when you get a catch in your stomach. Or when you’re walking down the street and your eye catches a scene that may be as simple as a crumb on a sidewalk and you click it and know that you’ve connected with the universe.
I’ve learned that my mission...the ‘bottom line’ of what I am as artist is to tell stories that inspire, educate, motivate and share love. Each of my art forms are about telling stories. I spend more time writing, than on video and finally painting is the thing I don’t get to do as often though I always have a canvas behind me in my office so I can switch in the bat of an eye:>
Telling the story and allowing the creative to snake its way through my being is what excites me the most...I know I’ve said it before but it really is orgasmic. I believe that as an artist, you are in a constant love affair with your work.
As an artist, do you think you perceive the world differently?
Absolutely!!! I’m appalled at how the media twists and turns the facts and figures of the world and then everyone believes them because it’s in print. It’s like the world of medicine which over the last, not even a hundred years has turned to pharmaceuticals, almost to exclusion of common sense taking care of your body. We have this unbelievable divide between rich and poor, one color or religion against another. It’s so utterly unbelievable to me and yet I feel like I walk around in this surreal place because I know that these ‘drawn’ images aren’t true.
Of course, I’ve done things to try to stick up for what I believe, but have found the powers that be are so dug in their trenches that my little efforts don’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that I don’t still sign petitions and donate to causes and cheer on my friends who are on the front lines of many issues. But I feel almost guilty because I don’t think anyone’s really ‘right’ and so it’s hard for me...the only way I can express my angst with it all is through my art. There really is a serious hierarchy to this world, planet, people and it’s been that way since time began. So, in many ways I feel isolated because I’m not on the front lines even when I see massive injustices, but my hope is that somehow, through my work I will be able to help someone, somewhere see with a little more compassion, love and understanding and see through my eyes a world where people aren’t separate from each other or all that is.
Is it important to you to convey a specific message or feeling through your art and does it upset you if people interpret your work differently than you intended?
As many eyes as there are in the world equals the number of perceptions there are. I often don’t know what ‘the message or feeling’ is in something I do because when you are in your “Truth”...the present moment...you’re not outside it. For example, I spent years studying to be an actress. There were times when I was ‘on’. I was the character, the “Truth” of the scene sparkled and people would come up to me afterward and gush. It was those times that I could not remember a thing of what I’d done or said. It’s the same thing when I’m painting or putting together a video or writing...when the creativity is in ‘flow’ there’s no way you can control the message or feeling of the work. You just know when you’re done that there is a sense of relief because something was born.
Here’s a story of how I’ve seen my creativity. We can choose to pick fruit off of the universal ‘tree’ of creation. That idea comes from something bigger than me...than us...and the seeds of it will sow whatever it’s supposed to. As I said before, for as many eyes that see, there are that many view points. That’s why good writing never gets boring, even if it’s telling the same story. It’s the same story told from the artist’s view point so it’s always just a little different. When I’m done with a project, my heart tells me I’ve done whatever I needed to do. Like my friend and the puakenikeni painting, it was the connection to his own Hawaiian culture that made it mean something to him. I say ‘cool’. How many times in our lives does something happen and you think the outcome will be one way, but it’s another. It doesn’t make it bad or wrong, just different. Frankly, I don’t care about people who have weird, maniacal interpretations because we’ve got so many view points on the planet, but I do care that my work in whatever form be something that will touch someone’s life in a way that makes them better or do better or simply feel better.
I know you are working on new projects all the time. Could you tell us a little about your next project or series of art that you have just completed?
Ah, we live in such a world of ‘platforms’. The buzz word is “What’s your platform?” I see it as simply, “Who the heck are you NOW as artist?”
Since I just finished classes at Columbia with only my thesis to finish toward my MFA, I am in the process of creating my next steps. I want to blend my art forms more. For instance, I am shopping the first of a historical fiction trilogy on the Hawaiian story (my thesis). In addition, I’m developing a documentary series on Hawai’i that is an extension of over 60 hours of radio documentaries I did 15 years ago.
Though I have several commissioned pieces I have to finish first, I am planning a series of paintings that’s almost the opposite of what I was doing before. Before I was using huge canvases and creating extreme close ups to almost burrow into something and now want to try small canvases with extreme close ups. It’s all about point of view. So, in the writing, the documentary and the paintings, I am playing with new points of view to see where it takes me.
The only way we can change is to see from various points of view. The old adage of walking in another person’s shoes, is so appropriate here. Hawaiian culture, people and the place have been a great ‘muse’ for me for the last almost 25 years. To me, the plight of the Hawaiian people and the atrocities that they endured are just a microcosm of what goes on in the bigger world. If I can play with different ways to look at all that, then maybe that will translate for my patrons...fans...audience...into new ways of seeing and that in turn can lead to new ways of being.
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